OMAGH BOMB WIDOWER'S NEW LOVE HELPS HIM THROUGH MAZE OF GRIEF
Omagh bomb widower's new love helps him through maze of grief
Drumquin man to wed mum of Romanian 'adoption' child
by Claire Anthony
THE husband of a woman killed in the Omagh bomb has this week told how a new love has helped him find his way through a maze of grief and guilt.
Kevin Skelton's wife, Mena, was one of 29 people who died on Omagh's Market Street in the Real IRA blast on August 15, 1998. In a strange twist, it was in following one of Mena's unfulfilled dreams that Kevin was to meet his new bride-to-be, Romanian mum of three, Maria Nedelcu.
Kevin and Mena had been charmed by nine-year-old Andrea, a Romanian orphan, who came to stay with them at their Drumquin home in 1997, and had discussed adopting the little girl.
However, Kevin's life changed forever when he travelled to Fagaras, central Romania, in October 1999 with this objective in mind. Upon arrival at the orphanage, he found Andrea's mother, Maria, waiting for him, terrified that he had come to take her daughter away.
"Andrea had never said anything about her to me, and that was the first time I ever met Maria," the former lorry driver recalled.
"She had sat all night waiting for me outside the orphanage gate because she thought I was coming to take the child away from her. But I didn't know she existed until that day.
"From that day I saw Maria for the first time something happened to me. I felt something for her the minute I saw her."
Respect
Since their unexpected meeting, the pair have had to overcome language barriers, the dreaded and seemingly insurmountable red tape, and, for the widower, a desire to respect the memory of his late wife.
The father of four admits that he tried to deny his deepening attraction for Maria, a factory worker, who was struggling to provide for Andrea and her eldest daughter, Nicoleta. After her husband left, she was forced to place both girls in the orphanage due to her financial plight, but
brought food and took them home each weekend.
A number of trips to Romania followed, and each time, Kevin's feelings deepened. Little did he know that Maria felt the same way, and neither was brave enough to make the first move.
Kevin explains: "I was going out twice a year, and every time it was getting worse. Maria was feeling the same, but neither of us knew. I didn't open my mouth.
"I went out in August 2004 to get a study visa for Nico, and it got turned down. I spent two and a half weeks in Romania, and again I said nothing to Maria.
"Not long after it, I received a letter from Maria, telling me the way she felt about me. It finished up saying 'If I'm wrong, I'm sorry and we'll always remain friends'.
"I sat and read it about 20 times."
He finally revealed his true feelings last December, during a week-long trip to secure a visa for Andrea to study beauty therapy at Omagh College.
Fantastic
"It was absolutely fantastic being together, but then I had to come back and see what sort of reaction I was going to get from my own children.
"I was nervous enough, but to my surprise, not one of them said anything against it. They were delighted to see me happy again."
Maria's first taste of life in Tyrone came in May this year when she arrived in Drumquin on a six month holiday visa, along with Andrea and Mia, her youngest daughter.
The couple's marriage plans were threatened because of the fact that Maria is not an EU citizen, and it took a little help from SDLP leader, Mark Durkan, to get special permission from the British authorities on compassionate grounds. There was one condition, however; the couple must wed before Maria's visa expires at the start of November.
The wedding is booked for October 12, and even after that, the couple face more red tape as they fly to Romania to secure Maria's right to remain in the UK. Nevertheless, they are looking to the future, something which Kevin never thought he would be able to do, and Kevin has also made his peace with his feelings about Mena.
"I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, and one of my daughters said if mummy could come back for five minutes the first thing she would do would be to hit me a kick up the backside.
"She wasn't a person who would want me sitting about moping," he added.
Drumquin man to wed mum of Romanian 'adoption' child
by Claire Anthony
THE husband of a woman killed in the Omagh bomb has this week told how a new love has helped him find his way through a maze of grief and guilt.
Kevin Skelton's wife, Mena, was one of 29 people who died on Omagh's Market Street in the Real IRA blast on August 15, 1998. In a strange twist, it was in following one of Mena's unfulfilled dreams that Kevin was to meet his new bride-to-be, Romanian mum of three, Maria Nedelcu.
Kevin and Mena had been charmed by nine-year-old Andrea, a Romanian orphan, who came to stay with them at their Drumquin home in 1997, and had discussed adopting the little girl.
However, Kevin's life changed forever when he travelled to Fagaras, central Romania, in October 1999 with this objective in mind. Upon arrival at the orphanage, he found Andrea's mother, Maria, waiting for him, terrified that he had come to take her daughter away.
"Andrea had never said anything about her to me, and that was the first time I ever met Maria," the former lorry driver recalled.
"She had sat all night waiting for me outside the orphanage gate because she thought I was coming to take the child away from her. But I didn't know she existed until that day.
"From that day I saw Maria for the first time something happened to me. I felt something for her the minute I saw her."
Respect
Since their unexpected meeting, the pair have had to overcome language barriers, the dreaded and seemingly insurmountable red tape, and, for the widower, a desire to respect the memory of his late wife.
The father of four admits that he tried to deny his deepening attraction for Maria, a factory worker, who was struggling to provide for Andrea and her eldest daughter, Nicoleta. After her husband left, she was forced to place both girls in the orphanage due to her financial plight, but
brought food and took them home each weekend.
A number of trips to Romania followed, and each time, Kevin's feelings deepened. Little did he know that Maria felt the same way, and neither was brave enough to make the first move.
Kevin explains: "I was going out twice a year, and every time it was getting worse. Maria was feeling the same, but neither of us knew. I didn't open my mouth.
"I went out in August 2004 to get a study visa for Nico, and it got turned down. I spent two and a half weeks in Romania, and again I said nothing to Maria.
"Not long after it, I received a letter from Maria, telling me the way she felt about me. It finished up saying 'If I'm wrong, I'm sorry and we'll always remain friends'.
"I sat and read it about 20 times."
He finally revealed his true feelings last December, during a week-long trip to secure a visa for Andrea to study beauty therapy at Omagh College.
Fantastic
"It was absolutely fantastic being together, but then I had to come back and see what sort of reaction I was going to get from my own children.
"I was nervous enough, but to my surprise, not one of them said anything against it. They were delighted to see me happy again."
Maria's first taste of life in Tyrone came in May this year when she arrived in Drumquin on a six month holiday visa, along with Andrea and Mia, her youngest daughter.
The couple's marriage plans were threatened because of the fact that Maria is not an EU citizen, and it took a little help from SDLP leader, Mark Durkan, to get special permission from the British authorities on compassionate grounds. There was one condition, however; the couple must wed before Maria's visa expires at the start of November.
The wedding is booked for October 12, and even after that, the couple face more red tape as they fly to Romania to secure Maria's right to remain in the UK. Nevertheless, they are looking to the future, something which Kevin never thought he would be able to do, and Kevin has also made his peace with his feelings about Mena.
"I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, and one of my daughters said if mummy could come back for five minutes the first thing she would do would be to hit me a kick up the backside.
"She wasn't a person who would want me sitting about moping," he added.
Further Information
Publisher: TYRONE CONSTITUTION
Ref: TC/1822
Published Date: 06-Oct-05
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