SUPPORT GROUP OFFICERS EXTEND HELPING AND CARING HAND TO OTHERS
Support group officers extend helping and caring hand to others
'Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it to themselves,' is the warming thought in of a news sheet printed by the Omagh Support and Self-Help Group.
But for the two chief office bearers of the group, and its other officers and committee members and their families, the past year has been peppered with dark days, as well as glimmers of light
On Sunday, Stanley McCombe, vice-chairman of the group, will attend church with his two sons, Colin (19) and Clive (23).
Once a regular churchgoer, he has only been a handful of times since his wife, Ann, was killed in the Market Street bomb. She was a member of the church choir, and he finds it difficult to go to church knowing his spouse will not be there singing.
Comfort has come slowly for Mr. McCombe, but one of those who has been an unlikely source of help and support for him during the past year has been Mr Michael Gallagher father of 21 year old Adrian who was perished in the bombing. He is the chairman of the group.
The men, from different sides of the community, and have known each other for years, but have become hard and fast friends as they work together caring for and helping others through the work of their group. They have also been able to act as foils for each other when even getting through the day becomes an uphill struggle.
Sitting in the portacabin in Campsie, the new 'home' of the Support and Self-Help Group, both men speak candidly about how the events of August 15 have affected them, and how the group has helped them.
Talk together
"In our group we talk together and it does help. You can relate to someone who is going through what you are going through.
"Michael and I were never as close as we are now, out we would always acknowledge each other. We had different lifestyles, but Michael and I have been friends for years," Mr. McCombe said.
"I have got anger as well as everybody else, but 1 realised very early on that the anger could destroy me," said Mr. Gallagher.
He added: "The people who planted the bomb would get more out of it if I lashed out at them. I do lash out at them, but not in an angry way. I want them to realise the value of the people's lives they destroyed".
He went on: "It is on my mind 'every hour of every day. Wherever we go, if we go out and appear to be enjoying ourselves, there is always the guilt that you shouldn't be doing that because there's nothing to be joyful about. I don't know whether it is survivor's guilt or not," he said.
Mr. McCombe admitted that he felt bitter about what had happened, and said it was compounded by the lack of progress in the peace settlement, which he branded "a joke".
However, through the group there is also a a definite air of determination to send out the message that the two communities in Omagh can and do live together -despite the apparent attempt to force them apart by those who bombed the town.
The group's air of determination is typified by the way the two men have united to keep the needs of the bereaved and injured in Omagh in the public eye outside the town as best they can.
"Most people in a small town like this come together and are able to get together at some time," said Mr. Gallagher.
"That's why it is so important that we come together as Protestant and Catholic and send a message to those sort of people who came here and planted a bomb and cynically tried to destroy the peace process, that it definitely won't work in this town," he added.
Vital part
To that end the group has become a vital part of their lives.
"We started coming together naturally in people's houses and then things started to move fairly, quickly so we felt that we had to form an organised group. We held a meeting on October 21 last year in the Royal Arms Hotel, where a committee was elected," said Mr. Gallagher.
"Then we found we were fulfilling a role in which a lot of people were wanting to know how best to look after the needs of the bereaved, and we were, I suppose, catapulted into the position where we met representatives of Omagh District Council, the Omagh Fund, Trauma Centre and Sperrin Lakeland Trust, and other groups looking after the bereaved and injured."
The group has also met Ministers and officials from other agencies, including those involved in the Sir Kenneth Bloomfield Committee, and as a result had input into the subsequent report into criminal injuries. In the past 12 months they also found themselves in large demand by the media.
"The group is for support as well as self help, but as yet we have not had the chance to get in to the support side of it. Because we have been so involved in other things all we have been able to do is direct people to other services that can help them, such as the DHSS and the Trauma Centre," Mr. Gallagher said.
Mr. McCombe said the group has also had its uses in terms of getting people's opinions to the right ears: "What we have found is that because we are a group representing people who have been bereaved in the worst atrocity in Northern Ireland, people do listen to what we have said, and at least as a group we have an opportunity to meet these people. If we were individuals our opportunities to meet Government Ministers would be very very slim.
Lifeline
"Our group has given us great strength within ourselves. When we are together we know what we are about and in that sense it really is a lifeline," Mr. McCombe said.
Mr. Gallagher picks up another thread as to why the group is so important to its members: "Most of the people involved felt they had to do something so the bomb would have some effect on those intent on ruining the lives of others. In the past 30 years more than 3,000 people have died.
"We also put pressure on politicians and Government to recognise the needs of the victims, which, sadly, up to this point have to a large extent been neglected.
"Because of the cynical way those people came to Omagh to try and blow away the peace process, as both a Catholic and a Protestant, we are showing the men of violence that their violence does not work, and we will continue to fight for and look after the needs of all of the people who are affected by the Omagh bomb," he said.
Mr. McCombe added: "We will support all our people and the people we represent, and we will do it as best we can. We are not professional people, we are just ordinary people, and all we can do is talk from our hearts, and if it helps someone, well and good."
He went on: "There are probably still people out there who maybe cannot talk or don't want to talk about what happened, but with the group we can have a cup of tea and chat quietly.
"A lot of people might not know what is out there by way of support and help emotionally or financially, and we can direct them to those who can help," he said.
Understandably, both men are bitterly disappointed with how the peace process deflated during the summer, and admit to being frustrated with how slowly the wheels of Government turn in terms of getting things done.
"The Government wheels are grinding too slowly. The system is geared for politicians, but at least we know that the ordinary people listen to us," Mr. McCombe said.
"The general feeling within the group is one of 'what have they done for us?' We feel the politicians have not done their job and would just want to forget about us, but we will not go away or be forgotten about. We have too many friends who are willing to help us keep the peace process within the media spotlight. That is another reason why we formed, because we knew there was a danger that we would be forgotten about," he said.
'Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it to themselves,' is the warming thought in of a news sheet printed by the Omagh Support and Self-Help Group.
But for the two chief office bearers of the group, and its other officers and committee members and their families, the past year has been peppered with dark days, as well as glimmers of light
On Sunday, Stanley McCombe, vice-chairman of the group, will attend church with his two sons, Colin (19) and Clive (23).
Once a regular churchgoer, he has only been a handful of times since his wife, Ann, was killed in the Market Street bomb. She was a member of the church choir, and he finds it difficult to go to church knowing his spouse will not be there singing.
Comfort has come slowly for Mr. McCombe, but one of those who has been an unlikely source of help and support for him during the past year has been Mr Michael Gallagher father of 21 year old Adrian who was perished in the bombing. He is the chairman of the group.
The men, from different sides of the community, and have known each other for years, but have become hard and fast friends as they work together caring for and helping others through the work of their group. They have also been able to act as foils for each other when even getting through the day becomes an uphill struggle.
Sitting in the portacabin in Campsie, the new 'home' of the Support and Self-Help Group, both men speak candidly about how the events of August 15 have affected them, and how the group has helped them.
Talk together
"In our group we talk together and it does help. You can relate to someone who is going through what you are going through.
"Michael and I were never as close as we are now, out we would always acknowledge each other. We had different lifestyles, but Michael and I have been friends for years," Mr. McCombe said.
"I have got anger as well as everybody else, but 1 realised very early on that the anger could destroy me," said Mr. Gallagher.
He added: "The people who planted the bomb would get more out of it if I lashed out at them. I do lash out at them, but not in an angry way. I want them to realise the value of the people's lives they destroyed".
He went on: "It is on my mind 'every hour of every day. Wherever we go, if we go out and appear to be enjoying ourselves, there is always the guilt that you shouldn't be doing that because there's nothing to be joyful about. I don't know whether it is survivor's guilt or not," he said.
Mr. McCombe admitted that he felt bitter about what had happened, and said it was compounded by the lack of progress in the peace settlement, which he branded "a joke".
However, through the group there is also a a definite air of determination to send out the message that the two communities in Omagh can and do live together -despite the apparent attempt to force them apart by those who bombed the town.
The group's air of determination is typified by the way the two men have united to keep the needs of the bereaved and injured in Omagh in the public eye outside the town as best they can.
"Most people in a small town like this come together and are able to get together at some time," said Mr. Gallagher.
"That's why it is so important that we come together as Protestant and Catholic and send a message to those sort of people who came here and planted a bomb and cynically tried to destroy the peace process, that it definitely won't work in this town," he added.
Vital part
To that end the group has become a vital part of their lives.
"We started coming together naturally in people's houses and then things started to move fairly, quickly so we felt that we had to form an organised group. We held a meeting on October 21 last year in the Royal Arms Hotel, where a committee was elected," said Mr. Gallagher.
"Then we found we were fulfilling a role in which a lot of people were wanting to know how best to look after the needs of the bereaved, and we were, I suppose, catapulted into the position where we met representatives of Omagh District Council, the Omagh Fund, Trauma Centre and Sperrin Lakeland Trust, and other groups looking after the bereaved and injured."
The group has also met Ministers and officials from other agencies, including those involved in the Sir Kenneth Bloomfield Committee, and as a result had input into the subsequent report into criminal injuries. In the past 12 months they also found themselves in large demand by the media.
"The group is for support as well as self help, but as yet we have not had the chance to get in to the support side of it. Because we have been so involved in other things all we have been able to do is direct people to other services that can help them, such as the DHSS and the Trauma Centre," Mr. Gallagher said.
Mr. McCombe said the group has also had its uses in terms of getting people's opinions to the right ears: "What we have found is that because we are a group representing people who have been bereaved in the worst atrocity in Northern Ireland, people do listen to what we have said, and at least as a group we have an opportunity to meet these people. If we were individuals our opportunities to meet Government Ministers would be very very slim.
Lifeline
"Our group has given us great strength within ourselves. When we are together we know what we are about and in that sense it really is a lifeline," Mr. McCombe said.
Mr. Gallagher picks up another thread as to why the group is so important to its members: "Most of the people involved felt they had to do something so the bomb would have some effect on those intent on ruining the lives of others. In the past 30 years more than 3,000 people have died.
"We also put pressure on politicians and Government to recognise the needs of the victims, which, sadly, up to this point have to a large extent been neglected.
"Because of the cynical way those people came to Omagh to try and blow away the peace process, as both a Catholic and a Protestant, we are showing the men of violence that their violence does not work, and we will continue to fight for and look after the needs of all of the people who are affected by the Omagh bomb," he said.
Mr. McCombe added: "We will support all our people and the people we represent, and we will do it as best we can. We are not professional people, we are just ordinary people, and all we can do is talk from our hearts, and if it helps someone, well and good."
He went on: "There are probably still people out there who maybe cannot talk or don't want to talk about what happened, but with the group we can have a cup of tea and chat quietly.
"A lot of people might not know what is out there by way of support and help emotionally or financially, and we can direct them to those who can help," he said.
Understandably, both men are bitterly disappointed with how the peace process deflated during the summer, and admit to being frustrated with how slowly the wheels of Government turn in terms of getting things done.
"The Government wheels are grinding too slowly. The system is geared for politicians, but at least we know that the ordinary people listen to us," Mr. McCombe said.
"The general feeling within the group is one of 'what have they done for us?' We feel the politicians have not done their job and would just want to forget about us, but we will not go away or be forgotten about. We have too many friends who are willing to help us keep the peace process within the media spotlight. That is another reason why we formed, because we knew there was a danger that we would be forgotten about," he said.
Further Information
Publisher: TYRONE CONSTITUTION
Ref: TC/0702
Published Date: 12-Aug-99
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