WHY DID JULIA DIE AND I DIDN'T
Why did Julia die and I didn't?
SANDY Smith admits she has "cried buckets" every single day since the Omagh bomb.
The tears flowed again as she struggled to recall - for the first time - her own personal experience of August 15 last year.
"Everybody was really happy, there was a great feeling in the town, probably because it was carnival day," she said.
"I was with friends and was just about to go back to my flat when the bomb went off."
Sandy was just ten feet away from the bomb when it ripped through the town's busy Market Street.
Her 21-year-old friend, Julia Hughes, who was standing next to her, took the full force of the blast and died at the scene.
Said Sandy: "I remember lying there, and I couldn't breathe.
Burning
"I smelt burning flesh, and realised it was my back burning.
"My lips were full of stones and pebbles, and I couldn't feel my legs.
"My anorak had been blown off me. I remember looking round and seeing my friend Glen Porter lying beside me.
"His wife had just had a baby the week before, and I remember willing him to get up for their sake.
"He eventually did get up, and it was a huge relief.
"Then I tried to talk to Julia, but she never got up.
"I should be dead. I don't know why Julia died and I didn't."
A policeman and Sandy's sister, both held her hand as all around, the sound of screaming and crying filled the air.
"I remember thinking, I'd love a cushion for under my head, and a second later someone put one there.
"I prayed to God that if he wanted me to live, he would have to give me the strength."
Dying
Sandy was eventually lifted onto a wooden plank and brought to an ambulance.
In the unimaginable horror that was Omagh, she was aware of another victim dying beside her on the way to hospital.
Sandy remembers little of that first night in hospital.
One image, however, that she says will stay with her forever, was of a doctor crying as he worked to help the injured and dying.
She was transferred to the intensive care unit of the Erne Hospital to be treated for multiple shrapnel injuries.
Both of her ear drums were perforated by the blast, and it is not certain if her hearing will return to normal.
Her left leg is paralysed from the knee down, and she has massive scars on her back and legs from shrapnel injuries.
Counsellors are helping her come to terms with the mental trauma.
"I am not the person I was before August last year," said Sandy. "I feel resentful that it has caused so much upheaval in my life.
"I can't be my own self. I am always depending on other people to do things for me that I should be able to do for myself. It's very hard to get used to.
Cried
"I used to love the gym, now I can barely walk.
"But you have to accept it has happened, and life won't ever be the same again.
"I've cried bucketfuls every single day. I'm still grieving for Julia.
"But you have to accept it is not the end of everything.
"Mark has been my strength. He has encouraged me throughout to be positive and count my blessings.
"It was such a cruel act, and it destroyed a lot of things.
"The policeman who held my hand brought me a lot of comfort, and I have never found out who he is.
"I would like him to know how much it meant and to thank him."
SANDY Smith admits she has "cried buckets" every single day since the Omagh bomb.
The tears flowed again as she struggled to recall - for the first time - her own personal experience of August 15 last year.
"Everybody was really happy, there was a great feeling in the town, probably because it was carnival day," she said.
"I was with friends and was just about to go back to my flat when the bomb went off."
Sandy was just ten feet away from the bomb when it ripped through the town's busy Market Street.
Her 21-year-old friend, Julia Hughes, who was standing next to her, took the full force of the blast and died at the scene.
Said Sandy: "I remember lying there, and I couldn't breathe.
Burning
"I smelt burning flesh, and realised it was my back burning.
"My lips were full of stones and pebbles, and I couldn't feel my legs.
"My anorak had been blown off me. I remember looking round and seeing my friend Glen Porter lying beside me.
"His wife had just had a baby the week before, and I remember willing him to get up for their sake.
"He eventually did get up, and it was a huge relief.
"Then I tried to talk to Julia, but she never got up.
"I should be dead. I don't know why Julia died and I didn't."
A policeman and Sandy's sister, both held her hand as all around, the sound of screaming and crying filled the air.
"I remember thinking, I'd love a cushion for under my head, and a second later someone put one there.
"I prayed to God that if he wanted me to live, he would have to give me the strength."
Dying
Sandy was eventually lifted onto a wooden plank and brought to an ambulance.
In the unimaginable horror that was Omagh, she was aware of another victim dying beside her on the way to hospital.
Sandy remembers little of that first night in hospital.
One image, however, that she says will stay with her forever, was of a doctor crying as he worked to help the injured and dying.
She was transferred to the intensive care unit of the Erne Hospital to be treated for multiple shrapnel injuries.
Both of her ear drums were perforated by the blast, and it is not certain if her hearing will return to normal.
Her left leg is paralysed from the knee down, and she has massive scars on her back and legs from shrapnel injuries.
Counsellors are helping her come to terms with the mental trauma.
"I am not the person I was before August last year," said Sandy. "I feel resentful that it has caused so much upheaval in my life.
"I can't be my own self. I am always depending on other people to do things for me that I should be able to do for myself. It's very hard to get used to.
Cried
"I used to love the gym, now I can barely walk.
"But you have to accept it has happened, and life won't ever be the same again.
"I've cried bucketfuls every single day. I'm still grieving for Julia.
"But you have to accept it is not the end of everything.
"Mark has been my strength. He has encouraged me throughout to be positive and count my blessings.
"It was such a cruel act, and it destroyed a lot of things.
"The policeman who held my hand brought me a lot of comfort, and I have never found out who he is.
"I would like him to know how much it meant and to thank him."
Further Information
Publisher: SUNDAY LIFE
Ref: SL/076
Published Date: 24-Jan-99
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