FAMILY GUARDIAN JOLENE GIVES HER PARENTS STRENGH
Family guardian Jolene gives her parents strength
In the first part of a special feature 10 years on from the Omagh bombing, Seamus McKinney returns to the parents of teenage victim Jolene Marlow and hears how she is "always on our shoulder"
A PERPETUAL light burns at the corner of Jolene Marlow's grave in Eskra.
Her family placed it there because from the day she was born until the day she lost her life in the Omagh bombing, she could never sleep without the light on.
Her dad Joe says the flame originally came from long-burning candles, purchased from Germany but the supplier went out of business. Now it's a battery operated light.
Ten years ago on Monday August 17 1998 The Irish News interviewed Joe and Bridie Marlow at their home in Newtownsaville as they awaited the return of their daughter's body.
Two days earlier, Jolene, a beautiful 17-year-old girl on the cusp of womanhood, had been among those killed in the carnage in Omagh.
Her sister Nikki (15) and their great aunt Rosie McNelis were badly injured.
In 1998 the girls' heartbroken parents took this reporter to Jolene's bedroom where her camogie boots - with her name written on the tongue - sat neatly by her bed.
Her stick also stood in the corner of the neatly arranged room.
Above a picture of Jolene and her boyfriend, Oliver McElroy, was the Masterskreen Cup which she helped win with Eskra Emmets CLG.
Ten years on and Mrs Marlow still has Jolene's boots and hurl.
In the days after her death the bedroom was filled with flowers, particularly lilies. Ten years on and Mr Marlow can't stand the smell of lilies.
He remembers the moment he realised that his oldest daughter was dead. They had first found Nikki in ward two of the Tyrone County Hospital in Omagh.
"Nikki was in fierce shape. She was pleading with me to help her to die. I'll never forget it," he said.
After she was airlifted to the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast Mr and Mrs Marlow continued their trawl of wards and hospitals for Jolene.
They were asked to bring in a recent picture of her.
"When the photograph came Bridie and her sister went over to the police desk with it and I was right behind them and 1 knew by the look on the policeman's eyes," Mr Marlow said.
"As soon as he looked at the photograph he made a comment to them 'she's a beautiful girl' and by the expression on his face I knew she was in the morgue."
In the months after the bombing the Marlows had to try to cope with their awful grief as well as supporting Nikki and their three sons Niall, Rory and Paul who were six, nine and 12.
The family still think of Jolene every day.
Their home is littered with pictures of the children, from Paul's graduation last month as a quantity surveyor, through his GAA successes with Tyrone as a minor through to senior level.
There are pictures of First Communions and family occasions and throughout there are pictures of Jolene.
Mrs Marlow described her as the guardian of the family and feels guilty that she expects too much of her.
"More so now than ever I turn to her all the time to sort things out," she said.
Both parents believe that Jolene has spurred her brothers and sister on to achieve their potential. They have all done well at school and excel in sports.
Nikki is an occupational therapist and mum to two boys, Paul is looking for work as a quantity surveyor and the younger boys are achieving well at their studies.
Jolene's death has also given her parents strength.
Mrs Marlow coped with her mother's death while Mr Marlow has expanded his business to include undertaking.
However, the past 10 years have been hard. Mr and Mrs Marlow say they found it difficult to deal with the inquiry reports and court cases.
"It leaves an awful air of suspicion of what actually did happen," Mr Marlow said.
There is also the personal grief. Mrs Marlow said she can cope with the birthdays and anniversaries but it is the little things which still bring tears.
"It's the simple things like when I lifted her school tie. It's not so much the big days like 'how's the Marlows getting on at Christmas?" she said.
Mr Marlow took advice from Fr Brian D'Arcy. He told him that everything would be a 'first' in the first year.
"In the second year things didn't get any easier but you say to yourself I coped last year and I can again. I took a lot of strength from that." Mr Marlow said.
A family of Gaels, Joe said that as he watched Peter Canavan lift Tyrone's first All-Ireland football title in 2003 his thoughts turned to Jolene and how she would have been proud that day.
In 1998 Mrs Marlow said that Jolene would always be on her shoulder. Ten years on, both say she still is.
In the first part of a special feature 10 years on from the Omagh bombing, Seamus McKinney returns to the parents of teenage victim Jolene Marlow and hears how she is "always on our shoulder"
A PERPETUAL light burns at the corner of Jolene Marlow's grave in Eskra.
Her family placed it there because from the day she was born until the day she lost her life in the Omagh bombing, she could never sleep without the light on.
Her dad Joe says the flame originally came from long-burning candles, purchased from Germany but the supplier went out of business. Now it's a battery operated light.
Ten years ago on Monday August 17 1998 The Irish News interviewed Joe and Bridie Marlow at their home in Newtownsaville as they awaited the return of their daughter's body.
Two days earlier, Jolene, a beautiful 17-year-old girl on the cusp of womanhood, had been among those killed in the carnage in Omagh.
Her sister Nikki (15) and their great aunt Rosie McNelis were badly injured.
In 1998 the girls' heartbroken parents took this reporter to Jolene's bedroom where her camogie boots - with her name written on the tongue - sat neatly by her bed.
Her stick also stood in the corner of the neatly arranged room.
Above a picture of Jolene and her boyfriend, Oliver McElroy, was the Masterskreen Cup which she helped win with Eskra Emmets CLG.
Ten years on and Mrs Marlow still has Jolene's boots and hurl.
In the days after her death the bedroom was filled with flowers, particularly lilies. Ten years on and Mr Marlow can't stand the smell of lilies.
He remembers the moment he realised that his oldest daughter was dead. They had first found Nikki in ward two of the Tyrone County Hospital in Omagh.
"Nikki was in fierce shape. She was pleading with me to help her to die. I'll never forget it," he said.
After she was airlifted to the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast Mr and Mrs Marlow continued their trawl of wards and hospitals for Jolene.
They were asked to bring in a recent picture of her.
"When the photograph came Bridie and her sister went over to the police desk with it and I was right behind them and 1 knew by the look on the policeman's eyes," Mr Marlow said.
"As soon as he looked at the photograph he made a comment to them 'she's a beautiful girl' and by the expression on his face I knew she was in the morgue."
In the months after the bombing the Marlows had to try to cope with their awful grief as well as supporting Nikki and their three sons Niall, Rory and Paul who were six, nine and 12.
The family still think of Jolene every day.
Their home is littered with pictures of the children, from Paul's graduation last month as a quantity surveyor, through his GAA successes with Tyrone as a minor through to senior level.
There are pictures of First Communions and family occasions and throughout there are pictures of Jolene.
Mrs Marlow described her as the guardian of the family and feels guilty that she expects too much of her.
"More so now than ever I turn to her all the time to sort things out," she said.
Both parents believe that Jolene has spurred her brothers and sister on to achieve their potential. They have all done well at school and excel in sports.
Nikki is an occupational therapist and mum to two boys, Paul is looking for work as a quantity surveyor and the younger boys are achieving well at their studies.
Jolene's death has also given her parents strength.
Mrs Marlow coped with her mother's death while Mr Marlow has expanded his business to include undertaking.
However, the past 10 years have been hard. Mr and Mrs Marlow say they found it difficult to deal with the inquiry reports and court cases.
"It leaves an awful air of suspicion of what actually did happen," Mr Marlow said.
There is also the personal grief. Mrs Marlow said she can cope with the birthdays and anniversaries but it is the little things which still bring tears.
"It's the simple things like when I lifted her school tie. It's not so much the big days like 'how's the Marlows getting on at Christmas?" she said.
Mr Marlow took advice from Fr Brian D'Arcy. He told him that everything would be a 'first' in the first year.
"In the second year things didn't get any easier but you say to yourself I coped last year and I can again. I took a lot of strength from that." Mr Marlow said.
A family of Gaels, Joe said that as he watched Peter Canavan lift Tyrone's first All-Ireland football title in 2003 his thoughts turned to Jolene and how she would have been proud that day.
In 1998 Mrs Marlow said that Jolene would always be on her shoulder. Ten years on, both say she still is.
Further Information
Publisher: THE IRISH NEWS
Ref: IN10An/04
Published Date: 06-Aug-08
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