THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
The road to recovery
Kevin Skelton was just yards away when his wife Mena was killed in the Omagh bomb in 1998 and one of his daughters was seriously injured. He turned to drink at a time when his family needed him most and he even contemplated killing himself. Now he has turned his life around thanks to his second wife Maria and their daughter Gabriella, but says he will never forget about Mena. He tells Brian Campbell his remarkable story
KEVIN Skelton reached a new low in the summer of 2003.
It was almost five years after his wife Mena was killed in the Omagh bomb and he was hitting the bottle hard.
Having given up drink for a few weeks, he headed to Bundoran in Donegal to see the GAA Ulster football final between Tyrone and Down.
A staunch Tyrone supporter, Kevin was driven to drink when it looked like Down were going to win.
But it didn't matter that Tyrone went on to claim a draw (and then win the replay), because Kevin was off the wagon and he was in a bad way.
"I woke up at 4am on the sofa at home. I didn't remember how I got there but I'd obviously driven the jeep home," he says. "That put the wind right up me. I even forgot to take my son home - I'd left him in Bundoran.
"So that was the thing that started to turn me around and that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
"Then I sold the house and moved, because every time I looked out the window there I could see Mena's grave. It was right across the road."
Kevin was also distressed about the feelings he had for Maria, whose daughter Andreea had enjoyed summer holidays with Kevin and Mena and their family in 1997 and 1998. Kevin not only felt guilty at having feelings for someone other than Mena but he was convinced that the Romanian woman had no feelings for him.
He says he was heartbroken when Maria had a child and married the baby girl's father Ovideo.
Maria already had two daughters, Andreea and Nicoletta, and it was Andreea who changed Kevin's life without him realising it. Kevin and Mena had agreed to take in the then nine-year-old for two weeks in 1997 as part of a charity drive to let disadvantaged Romanian children spend time in Ireland.
Mena had been the instigator and she and Kevin were so close to Andreea after her second visit in 1998 that they even considered adopting her.
But then the bomb happened. Kevin, Mena and their daughters Shauna, Tracey and Paula had gone into the centre of Omagh that day - August 15 1998 - to buy school uniforms and shoes.
Kevin had just left his wife and daughters to go into a neighbouring shop when the explosion happened.
The Real IRA bomb killed 29 people (including a mother of unborn twins) and Kevin knows he could easily have been killed that day.
In his new book Sent By An Angel he describes in vivid but shocking detail the bomb and its aftermath and how he discovered Mena in the rubble, already dead.
One of his daughters, Shauna, suffered serious facial injuries in the bomb.
Kevin will always be emotionally scarred by that horrific day in 1998 and he says writing a book felt like the right thing to do.
"I've spoken about it a lot, but this time there was nobody else saying what they thought.
This is what I thought and this is my story," he says.
"It was tough at times, no question about it, but I feel relief now. Now that I've done this, the next time people will see my photograph in the newspaper it'll be my obituary.
"I'll never forget what happened in Omagh and I'll never forget Mena, but I have a new life now and I'm going to enjoy it and enjoy whatever time God gives me."
He says the fight for justice by the families of those killed in Omagh will be "fruitless".
"Nobody will ever be prosecuted for it," he says.
"The media has been our one true friend over the last 12 years. Politicians are certainly no friends or the two governments or the hierarchy of the Garda or the hierarchy of the PSNI. I don't think too highly of them. But I don't blame any ordinary police officer or garda."
He says he always had people telling him he should write a book. "Several people had asked me to do a book, so I ran it by my eldest daughter and she said 'Daddy, if you want to do it then go for it, if you think it'll help you.' "1 couldn't write a book myself, so I got in contact with the co-author Yvonne Kinsella and I met her in Dublin and I told her my story and for two hours she sat there listening with her mouth wide open. "That's how it all started and now it's done and I'm glad I did it.
"It's my way of drawing a line under 1998. I'll never forget 1998, but there are people shouting from the rooftops about justice and they're only wasting their breath. "I know there are a lot of people out there in a situation similar to myself. The high-profile tragedies like the Omagh bomb are the ones you read about in the paper, but every family has their own tragedy that nobody knows about - car accidents and young people dying.
"So if people are desperate and they think there's no light at the end of the tunnel, they need to know that drink's not the solution. "Putting a gun under your chin and pulling the trigger isn't the solution either, because you'll only leave more pain behind. "There's help out there for you and people will help you, but you must help yourself too."
Kevin's life has certainly turned around in the past five years.
After hiding his feelings for Maria, who was still living in Romania with her husband and children, her marriage broke down and she and Kevin went on to marry in 2005.
They also have a baby daughter together, Gabriella. So as well as Kevin's three daughters and son Ray, he now has three stepdaughters and another daughter of his own.
"I'm going to sit back now and enjoy my time with Gabriella and Iulia and my two grandchildren and another one on the way. "I've a reason now to get up in the morning and life looks a lot better now. It's more fruitful now than it was back in the dark days.
"People like my mum helped me in those dark days. You talk about angels in Heaven but she's an angel on Earth, no question about it. And my dad too."
Baby Gabriella features on the cover of Sent By An Angel, although the angel Kevin is referring to in the title is his late wife Mena.
He says he believes that Mena has been a constant presence since she died.
"I have my beliefs and I always wonder why I was left behind that day in 1998 and why I wasn't killed and I'm sure hundreds of other people think the same.
"He must have had a reason for leaving me behind and I think it was the trip that Mena made in 1997 with Andreea and He wanted it seen through."
Kevin lives with Maria and their children in Omagh. He thanks Maria and his children for pulling him through his dark days of heavy drinking and thanks Shauna in particular.
"Shauna pushed me to go to see a counselor who was instrumental in breaking that cycle that I'd got myself into. If I hadn't broken that cycle, I wouldn't be here today."
Sent By An Angel is out now, published by Poolbeg.
Kevin Skelton was just yards away when his wife Mena was killed in the Omagh bomb in 1998 and one of his daughters was seriously injured. He turned to drink at a time when his family needed him most and he even contemplated killing himself. Now he has turned his life around thanks to his second wife Maria and their daughter Gabriella, but says he will never forget about Mena. He tells Brian Campbell his remarkable story
KEVIN Skelton reached a new low in the summer of 2003.
It was almost five years after his wife Mena was killed in the Omagh bomb and he was hitting the bottle hard.
Having given up drink for a few weeks, he headed to Bundoran in Donegal to see the GAA Ulster football final between Tyrone and Down.
A staunch Tyrone supporter, Kevin was driven to drink when it looked like Down were going to win.
But it didn't matter that Tyrone went on to claim a draw (and then win the replay), because Kevin was off the wagon and he was in a bad way.
"I woke up at 4am on the sofa at home. I didn't remember how I got there but I'd obviously driven the jeep home," he says. "That put the wind right up me. I even forgot to take my son home - I'd left him in Bundoran.
"So that was the thing that started to turn me around and that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
"Then I sold the house and moved, because every time I looked out the window there I could see Mena's grave. It was right across the road."
Kevin was also distressed about the feelings he had for Maria, whose daughter Andreea had enjoyed summer holidays with Kevin and Mena and their family in 1997 and 1998. Kevin not only felt guilty at having feelings for someone other than Mena but he was convinced that the Romanian woman had no feelings for him.
He says he was heartbroken when Maria had a child and married the baby girl's father Ovideo.
Maria already had two daughters, Andreea and Nicoletta, and it was Andreea who changed Kevin's life without him realising it. Kevin and Mena had agreed to take in the then nine-year-old for two weeks in 1997 as part of a charity drive to let disadvantaged Romanian children spend time in Ireland.
Mena had been the instigator and she and Kevin were so close to Andreea after her second visit in 1998 that they even considered adopting her.
But then the bomb happened. Kevin, Mena and their daughters Shauna, Tracey and Paula had gone into the centre of Omagh that day - August 15 1998 - to buy school uniforms and shoes.
Kevin had just left his wife and daughters to go into a neighbouring shop when the explosion happened.
The Real IRA bomb killed 29 people (including a mother of unborn twins) and Kevin knows he could easily have been killed that day.
In his new book Sent By An Angel he describes in vivid but shocking detail the bomb and its aftermath and how he discovered Mena in the rubble, already dead.
One of his daughters, Shauna, suffered serious facial injuries in the bomb.
Kevin will always be emotionally scarred by that horrific day in 1998 and he says writing a book felt like the right thing to do.
"I've spoken about it a lot, but this time there was nobody else saying what they thought.
This is what I thought and this is my story," he says.
"It was tough at times, no question about it, but I feel relief now. Now that I've done this, the next time people will see my photograph in the newspaper it'll be my obituary.
"I'll never forget what happened in Omagh and I'll never forget Mena, but I have a new life now and I'm going to enjoy it and enjoy whatever time God gives me."
He says the fight for justice by the families of those killed in Omagh will be "fruitless".
"Nobody will ever be prosecuted for it," he says.
"The media has been our one true friend over the last 12 years. Politicians are certainly no friends or the two governments or the hierarchy of the Garda or the hierarchy of the PSNI. I don't think too highly of them. But I don't blame any ordinary police officer or garda."
He says he always had people telling him he should write a book. "Several people had asked me to do a book, so I ran it by my eldest daughter and she said 'Daddy, if you want to do it then go for it, if you think it'll help you.' "1 couldn't write a book myself, so I got in contact with the co-author Yvonne Kinsella and I met her in Dublin and I told her my story and for two hours she sat there listening with her mouth wide open. "That's how it all started and now it's done and I'm glad I did it.
"It's my way of drawing a line under 1998. I'll never forget 1998, but there are people shouting from the rooftops about justice and they're only wasting their breath. "I know there are a lot of people out there in a situation similar to myself. The high-profile tragedies like the Omagh bomb are the ones you read about in the paper, but every family has their own tragedy that nobody knows about - car accidents and young people dying.
"So if people are desperate and they think there's no light at the end of the tunnel, they need to know that drink's not the solution. "Putting a gun under your chin and pulling the trigger isn't the solution either, because you'll only leave more pain behind. "There's help out there for you and people will help you, but you must help yourself too."
Kevin's life has certainly turned around in the past five years.
After hiding his feelings for Maria, who was still living in Romania with her husband and children, her marriage broke down and she and Kevin went on to marry in 2005.
They also have a baby daughter together, Gabriella. So as well as Kevin's three daughters and son Ray, he now has three stepdaughters and another daughter of his own.
"I'm going to sit back now and enjoy my time with Gabriella and Iulia and my two grandchildren and another one on the way. "I've a reason now to get up in the morning and life looks a lot better now. It's more fruitful now than it was back in the dark days.
"People like my mum helped me in those dark days. You talk about angels in Heaven but she's an angel on Earth, no question about it. And my dad too."
Baby Gabriella features on the cover of Sent By An Angel, although the angel Kevin is referring to in the title is his late wife Mena.
He says he believes that Mena has been a constant presence since she died.
"I have my beliefs and I always wonder why I was left behind that day in 1998 and why I wasn't killed and I'm sure hundreds of other people think the same.
"He must have had a reason for leaving me behind and I think it was the trip that Mena made in 1997 with Andreea and He wanted it seen through."
Kevin lives with Maria and their children in Omagh. He thanks Maria and his children for pulling him through his dark days of heavy drinking and thanks Shauna in particular.
"Shauna pushed me to go to see a counselor who was instrumental in breaking that cycle that I'd got myself into. If I hadn't broken that cycle, I wouldn't be here today."
Sent By An Angel is out now, published by Poolbeg.
Further Information
Publisher: THE IRISH NEWS
Ref: IN/1026
Published Date: 17-Apr-10
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