WE WERE SUICIDAL WITH GRIEF SAYS OMAGH VICTIM'S FATHER
We were suicidal with grief says Omagh victim's father
THREE members of a family bereaved by the Omagh bombing were so overwhelmed with grief that they each thought of suicide, the High Court in Belfast was told yesterday.
Godfrey Wilson, whose 15-year-old daughter Lorraine was killed in the atrocity, revealed the depths of his family's despair and suffering endured in the years since.
Fighting back tears as he gave evidence at the civil trial of five men being sued over the bombing which claimed the lives of 29 people, including a woman pregnant with twins, Mr Wilson recalled crying so hard for three months solid that he was left with ulcers in his eyes.
He told of being confronted with his daughter's body in a temporary morgue set up in the aftermath of the explosion on August 15, 1998.
"She had head injuries. Her face was full of shrapnel, her right eye missing and a tear on the other eye," Mr Wilson said.
"I took out a tissue and soaked it up and put it in my breast pocket. I still have it. That's the very little I have left of her.
"I just couldn't stop crying but my wife couldn't cry. She was in a state of frozenness."
The court was told how before the bombing Mr Wilson worked long hours to provide for his family, spending all free time with his children riding bikes, horses and enjoying any other outdoor pursuits around their home in Omagh.
But he said that afterwards he struggled to cope with his loss and at one stage contemplated suicide.
"I drove to a local country road and drove like a lunatic hoping a tractor would come out in front of me to end it all," he said.
"I cried until I had ulcers in my eyes. I couldn't stop. I must have cried for three months.
"Sleeping was terrible. I couldn't get the morgue out of my head.
"I had a continuous picture of Lorraine's face, the shrapnel and how her lovely long hair was blown off."
Mr Wilson described how he had endured back pains and pins and needles in his legs amid deteriorating mental and physical health.
"1 collapsed at home on the floor and for a month I couldn't get up," he said.
Questioned by Brett Lockhart QC, for the families seeking damages from Michael McKevitt, Liam Campbell, Seamus McKenna, Colm Murphy and Seamus Daly, Mr Wilson said it was difficult to dwell on the fun and laughter his family had shared before the bomb.
"That good memory has been contaminated because I can't think about it. I can't see Lorraine's smiling face because it hurts me that I will never see it again," he said.
Mr Wilson said his son Gary, who lost his sister and a girlfriend in the bombing, was equally driven to despair.
On one night he apparently tried to take his life in the family's garage and then tried to run to a nearby river.
"It was so bad every time he came home from town with a bottle my wife had to go out because Gary would be thumping his head against the wall shouting he wanted to die," Mr Wilson said.
"The only thing I could do with Gary was get him drunk so I could carry him to bed. I encouraged him to drink as much as he could so he would stop battering his head off the wall."
Mr Wilson said his daughter Denise once contacted him in the early hours with a grim message.
"She said 'I'm phoning you up to say I love you all deeply but I want to be with Lorraine. I'm sitting here in the car, drunk and I'm going to polish off this bottle of vodka and I want to end it all'," he said.
Mr Wilson said he spent half an hour talking to her before contacting police who prevented anything happening.
Mr Wilson said his wife had shunned medication, preferring alcohol to help her cope.
"She insists that drink numbs her, makes her feel the pain is eased," he said.
"That's the way she goes to bed. It's a routine, a religion.
"I actually go in to the girl in the off-licence and say 'Is Ann's prescription ready?'
"The girl actually puts a bottle in the cooler because she knows Ann's coming in for it."
Mr Wilson recalled going on a daytime chat show on national television and how the presenter had asked his wife whether she thought he was a wimp for crying so much.
"I was devastated. It just tore me to bits. 1 just didn't feel the world was taking my argument to heart - so many people distraught and they didn't care," Mr Wilson said.
THREE members of a family bereaved by the Omagh bombing were so overwhelmed with grief that they each thought of suicide, the High Court in Belfast was told yesterday.
Godfrey Wilson, whose 15-year-old daughter Lorraine was killed in the atrocity, revealed the depths of his family's despair and suffering endured in the years since.
Fighting back tears as he gave evidence at the civil trial of five men being sued over the bombing which claimed the lives of 29 people, including a woman pregnant with twins, Mr Wilson recalled crying so hard for three months solid that he was left with ulcers in his eyes.
He told of being confronted with his daughter's body in a temporary morgue set up in the aftermath of the explosion on August 15, 1998.
"She had head injuries. Her face was full of shrapnel, her right eye missing and a tear on the other eye," Mr Wilson said.
"I took out a tissue and soaked it up and put it in my breast pocket. I still have it. That's the very little I have left of her.
"I just couldn't stop crying but my wife couldn't cry. She was in a state of frozenness."
The court was told how before the bombing Mr Wilson worked long hours to provide for his family, spending all free time with his children riding bikes, horses and enjoying any other outdoor pursuits around their home in Omagh.
But he said that afterwards he struggled to cope with his loss and at one stage contemplated suicide.
"I drove to a local country road and drove like a lunatic hoping a tractor would come out in front of me to end it all," he said.
"I cried until I had ulcers in my eyes. I couldn't stop. I must have cried for three months.
"Sleeping was terrible. I couldn't get the morgue out of my head.
"I had a continuous picture of Lorraine's face, the shrapnel and how her lovely long hair was blown off."
Mr Wilson described how he had endured back pains and pins and needles in his legs amid deteriorating mental and physical health.
"1 collapsed at home on the floor and for a month I couldn't get up," he said.
Questioned by Brett Lockhart QC, for the families seeking damages from Michael McKevitt, Liam Campbell, Seamus McKenna, Colm Murphy and Seamus Daly, Mr Wilson said it was difficult to dwell on the fun and laughter his family had shared before the bomb.
"That good memory has been contaminated because I can't think about it. I can't see Lorraine's smiling face because it hurts me that I will never see it again," he said.
Mr Wilson said his son Gary, who lost his sister and a girlfriend in the bombing, was equally driven to despair.
On one night he apparently tried to take his life in the family's garage and then tried to run to a nearby river.
"It was so bad every time he came home from town with a bottle my wife had to go out because Gary would be thumping his head against the wall shouting he wanted to die," Mr Wilson said.
"The only thing I could do with Gary was get him drunk so I could carry him to bed. I encouraged him to drink as much as he could so he would stop battering his head off the wall."
Mr Wilson said his daughter Denise once contacted him in the early hours with a grim message.
"She said 'I'm phoning you up to say I love you all deeply but I want to be with Lorraine. I'm sitting here in the car, drunk and I'm going to polish off this bottle of vodka and I want to end it all'," he said.
Mr Wilson said he spent half an hour talking to her before contacting police who prevented anything happening.
Mr Wilson said his wife had shunned medication, preferring alcohol to help her cope.
"She insists that drink numbs her, makes her feel the pain is eased," he said.
"That's the way she goes to bed. It's a routine, a religion.
"I actually go in to the girl in the off-licence and say 'Is Ann's prescription ready?'
"The girl actually puts a bottle in the cooler because she knows Ann's coming in for it."
Mr Wilson recalled going on a daytime chat show on national television and how the presenter had asked his wife whether she thought he was a wimp for crying so much.
"I was devastated. It just tore me to bits. 1 just didn't feel the world was taking my argument to heart - so many people distraught and they didn't care," Mr Wilson said.
Further Information
Publisher: THE IRISH NEWS
Ref: IN/0944
Published Date: 05-Jun-08
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