WRACKED WITH GUILT FOR SURVIVING BOMB THAT KILLED CHILDHOOD FRIEND
Wracked with guilt - for surviving bomb that killed childhood friend
AT FIRST glance there is no sign that Michael Barrett was seriously injured in the Omagh bombing and, although the scars may be healing, the pain of losing his best friend lingers on.
The 26-year-old has been wracked with guilt that he survived and Aidan Gallagher died.
Childhood friends, the pair were rarely apart, but on August 15 1998 they were separated forever.
Aidan Gallagher (21) was killed where he stood - in the middle of the road -while the force of the blast threw Michael further down the street. "We parked the car at the top of the town and walked down to the clothes shop. We went in and Aidan was in the changing rooms trying on jeans and I was trying on clothes too," Michael recalls.
"The next thing we hear, what I thought was a policeman, telling everybody to get out because there was a bomb scare at the court house.
"We quickly put our clothes on and went out. We just saw crowds of people going to the bottom of the town and we followed them.
"We walked on down and police moved us on again. We crossed the road.
"We were just watching, seeing what was happening. Then we were moved again into the middle of the road at the bottom of the town. The next thing, the bomb went off."
"All I remember is the dust and noise. I couldn't really remember who I was with, then I realised it was Aidan.
"I started looking for him and shouted his name and I saw him lying in the middle of the road in the exact spot where we were. The next thing, I just collapsed.
"When I woke up again I was lying in the back of a police car and was taken to hospital and later transferred to the burns unit in Belfast.
"When I was in the hospital that night in Omagh I kept asking where Aidan was.
"I was told he was transferred to Enniskillen. But as time went on I sort of knew myself because no-one was telling me anything."
Michael suffered serious burns to his face, legs and had shrapnel removed from his back. He was in the Royal Victoria Hospital for five weeks.
On the exterior Michael looks like any other man in his 20s, with no visible sign of the injury or trauma he has endured.
His face is crystal clear - in fact the opposite of what I expected - but as he rolls up his sleeve the scars are still there.
So too is the emotional trauma. "Why not me? Why was he taken and not me?
"That is the way I felt guilty about it," he says.
"When I was in Belfast everything was happening here (Omagh) and I was totally unaware of it.
" I was hearing there were five killed and it kept going up and up. It was hard to take in.
"But when I returned to Omagh, it just hit me, I came back to reality."
The road to recovery has been very slow but the sympathetic ear of the Gallagher family has proved an invaluable source of comfort.
Not a day passes without Michael visiting his best friend's parents.
"It makes me feel close to them and you have that feeling that he (Aidan) is still about the house.
"I was going to counselling for a lot of months but it wasn't doing me any good.
"I feel more confident talking to the Gallaghers and my family than I do with a counsellor. The Gallaghers lost Aidan, they know what it is like.
"Without my family, friends and the Gallaghers it would have been a lot harder to cope."
At the end of last month, as the writs were issued against the Real IRA suspects allegedly involved the bombing, Michael was finalising the
arrangements for his engagement party.
"I am angry it (police investigation) has been going on four years and I think it has gone on too long," he says
"The people who did this should be behind bars now.
"They (the police) know who did it, why don't they do something about it?
"What more evidence do they need?"
Before the bomb Michael used to work in a meat factory but his injuries put paid to that and now he is preparing to take his HGV test to become a lorry driver.
Michael is due to marry his fiancee Sharon in 2005 but as he looks to the future the horror of that day is never too far from his mind.
"I never shop in Omagh. It is a different town, so much has happened.
"I am not going to move out of Omagh, at the end of the day it is still my home.
"I will get on with my life and do the best I can. You have to feel positive.
"You never forget but just have to get on with it."
AT FIRST glance there is no sign that Michael Barrett was seriously injured in the Omagh bombing and, although the scars may be healing, the pain of losing his best friend lingers on.
The 26-year-old has been wracked with guilt that he survived and Aidan Gallagher died.
Childhood friends, the pair were rarely apart, but on August 15 1998 they were separated forever.
Aidan Gallagher (21) was killed where he stood - in the middle of the road -while the force of the blast threw Michael further down the street. "We parked the car at the top of the town and walked down to the clothes shop. We went in and Aidan was in the changing rooms trying on jeans and I was trying on clothes too," Michael recalls.
"The next thing we hear, what I thought was a policeman, telling everybody to get out because there was a bomb scare at the court house.
"We quickly put our clothes on and went out. We just saw crowds of people going to the bottom of the town and we followed them.
"We walked on down and police moved us on again. We crossed the road.
"We were just watching, seeing what was happening. Then we were moved again into the middle of the road at the bottom of the town. The next thing, the bomb went off."
"All I remember is the dust and noise. I couldn't really remember who I was with, then I realised it was Aidan.
"I started looking for him and shouted his name and I saw him lying in the middle of the road in the exact spot where we were. The next thing, I just collapsed.
"When I woke up again I was lying in the back of a police car and was taken to hospital and later transferred to the burns unit in Belfast.
"When I was in the hospital that night in Omagh I kept asking where Aidan was.
"I was told he was transferred to Enniskillen. But as time went on I sort of knew myself because no-one was telling me anything."
Michael suffered serious burns to his face, legs and had shrapnel removed from his back. He was in the Royal Victoria Hospital for five weeks.
On the exterior Michael looks like any other man in his 20s, with no visible sign of the injury or trauma he has endured.
His face is crystal clear - in fact the opposite of what I expected - but as he rolls up his sleeve the scars are still there.
So too is the emotional trauma. "Why not me? Why was he taken and not me?
"That is the way I felt guilty about it," he says.
"When I was in Belfast everything was happening here (Omagh) and I was totally unaware of it.
" I was hearing there were five killed and it kept going up and up. It was hard to take in.
"But when I returned to Omagh, it just hit me, I came back to reality."
The road to recovery has been very slow but the sympathetic ear of the Gallagher family has proved an invaluable source of comfort.
Not a day passes without Michael visiting his best friend's parents.
"It makes me feel close to them and you have that feeling that he (Aidan) is still about the house.
"I was going to counselling for a lot of months but it wasn't doing me any good.
"I feel more confident talking to the Gallaghers and my family than I do with a counsellor. The Gallaghers lost Aidan, they know what it is like.
"Without my family, friends and the Gallaghers it would have been a lot harder to cope."
At the end of last month, as the writs were issued against the Real IRA suspects allegedly involved the bombing, Michael was finalising the
arrangements for his engagement party.
"I am angry it (police investigation) has been going on four years and I think it has gone on too long," he says
"The people who did this should be behind bars now.
"They (the police) know who did it, why don't they do something about it?
"What more evidence do they need?"
Before the bomb Michael used to work in a meat factory but his injuries put paid to that and now he is preparing to take his HGV test to become a lorry driver.
Michael is due to marry his fiancee Sharon in 2005 but as he looks to the future the horror of that day is never too far from his mind.
"I never shop in Omagh. It is a different town, so much has happened.
"I am not going to move out of Omagh, at the end of the day it is still my home.
"I will get on with my life and do the best I can. You have to feel positive.
"You never forget but just have to get on with it."
Further Information
Publisher: THE IRISH NEWS
Ref: IN/0573
Published Date: 13-Aug-02
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