OMBUDSMAN TELLS OF PRIVATE TORMENT
Ombudsman tells of private torment
By Helen Bruce
Criticism over Omagh report led to tears
NORTHERN Ireland Police Ombudsman Nuala O'Loan hid in her office, broke open a box of tissues and sobbed her heart out after coming under fierce political fire for the Omagh bombing report.
Mrs O'Loan had been subjected to a series of vicious personal attacks, following her office's claim that the police investigation of the fatal bombing was flawed.
Retiring RUC Chief Constable Sir Ronnie Flanagan declared himself outraged, adding if he had called the report fair and rigorous, he would not only resign, he would commit suicide in public.
Ulster Unionist party spokesman Lord Maginnis also launched a sharp assault.
Mrs O'Loan, a mother and wife, has now admitted for the first time how the criticism hurt her deeply.
She said: "Having these things said about me, I was enormously distressed. I wanted to go and say my piece, but instead I shut the door to my office, sat down with a box of handkerchiefs and just started crying. It was tough.
"I suppose everyone goes through difficult times in life, times when you think you can't pick yourself up and do it again, but out of that darkness can come a great understanding."
The ombudsman was speaking on an RTE programme called Would You Believe, to be broadcast on Thursday.
Looking back at the difficult experience, she said: "If my office is to have credibility it has to say things which are difficult, but difficult things are not welcome."
She added: "You have to tread softly, because you are treading on people's ideals, but I am not afraid of it. That's not the word." The Omagh fall-out was not the first or the worst emotional experience Mrs O'Loan had experienced in her life, as she also revealed.
An enduringly painful memory was the loss of her unborn baby following a bomb attack.
Then a lecturer at the former Ulster Polytechnic, she had been placed next to an invited guest, a former Lord Chief Justice, in a crowded lecture theatre.
She moved to attend to someone across the room when a bomb exploded beneath the desk and her intended seat. No one was killed, but several people were seriously injured.
"Where the chair was, there was just nothing there. We were fortunate in that the explosion went up, not out into the room, but it was enough.
"I was pregnant and I lost the child. It was very hard to cope with, very hard. I was so happy to be pregnant, and so thrilled. I loved this baby already."
The staunch Catholic said the experience had taught her, 18 years later, to allow God to forgive.
"I have huge difficulty understanding how someone could plant a bomb in a lecture theatre full of young people from all sides of the community. It has left me with flashbacks, nightmares and I still don't like loud noises. It leaves its mark."
By Helen Bruce
Criticism over Omagh report led to tears
NORTHERN Ireland Police Ombudsman Nuala O'Loan hid in her office, broke open a box of tissues and sobbed her heart out after coming under fierce political fire for the Omagh bombing report.
Mrs O'Loan had been subjected to a series of vicious personal attacks, following her office's claim that the police investigation of the fatal bombing was flawed.
Retiring RUC Chief Constable Sir Ronnie Flanagan declared himself outraged, adding if he had called the report fair and rigorous, he would not only resign, he would commit suicide in public.
Ulster Unionist party spokesman Lord Maginnis also launched a sharp assault.
Mrs O'Loan, a mother and wife, has now admitted for the first time how the criticism hurt her deeply.
She said: "Having these things said about me, I was enormously distressed. I wanted to go and say my piece, but instead I shut the door to my office, sat down with a box of handkerchiefs and just started crying. It was tough.
"I suppose everyone goes through difficult times in life, times when you think you can't pick yourself up and do it again, but out of that darkness can come a great understanding."
The ombudsman was speaking on an RTE programme called Would You Believe, to be broadcast on Thursday.
Looking back at the difficult experience, she said: "If my office is to have credibility it has to say things which are difficult, but difficult things are not welcome."
She added: "You have to tread softly, because you are treading on people's ideals, but I am not afraid of it. That's not the word." The Omagh fall-out was not the first or the worst emotional experience Mrs O'Loan had experienced in her life, as she also revealed.
An enduringly painful memory was the loss of her unborn baby following a bomb attack.
Then a lecturer at the former Ulster Polytechnic, she had been placed next to an invited guest, a former Lord Chief Justice, in a crowded lecture theatre.
She moved to attend to someone across the room when a bomb exploded beneath the desk and her intended seat. No one was killed, but several people were seriously injured.
"Where the chair was, there was just nothing there. We were fortunate in that the explosion went up, not out into the room, but it was enough.
"I was pregnant and I lost the child. It was very hard to cope with, very hard. I was so happy to be pregnant, and so thrilled. I loved this baby already."
The staunch Catholic said the experience had taught her, 18 years later, to allow God to forgive.
"I have huge difficulty understanding how someone could plant a bomb in a lecture theatre full of young people from all sides of the community. It has left me with flashbacks, nightmares and I still don't like loud noises. It leaves its mark."
Further Information
Publisher: BELFAST TELEGRAPH
Ref: BT/0880
Published Date: 16-Dec-02
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