DUNBLANE: THE LESSONS
Dunblane: the lessons
How will Omagh come to terms with the bombing? A victim of the Dunblane massacre tells who she learnt to cope. JOHN SMITH reports
AFTER losing her daughter in the Dunblane massacre, Karen Scott knows what the families of those killed in Omagh are going through.
Counselling helped her to cope with the loss of five-year-old Hannah - a service she is convinced will be vital for the grieving families of Omagh.
"Some people will cope in their own way but counselling should be available for those who need it," she said.
"It should not be rammed down anyone's throat - I hope it won't be like we had here, with people turning up on doorsteps expecting families would want to speak to them."
For Mrs Scott, the drop-in counselling service set up in Dunblane by Stirling Council in the aftermath of the tragedy was not an immediate option, it was one she only turned to a year after Hannah's death.
"It took me all this time to accept my daughter had died. Once I had, I wanted to go and talk to somebody about her. You could not really do this with you family and friends - they knew what she was like. The drop-in centre provided me with the opportunity to talk about her."
Mrs Scott said she saw a support worker about once a fortnight, or called in on occasion if having a bad day.
"Once I went in after I had been in Bridge of Allan and I heard ambulances going by on their way to Dunblane. It gave me such a fright - things like that are horrible.
"They are going to need a service in Omagh like the one we have here - a place to see somebody who you can speak to who will lend a sympathetic ear.
"Sometimes you can have something that is troubling you but you think: 'Am I being silly?'
"They sit down and spend time with you and say: 'This is quite a normal reaction, don't worry about it'."
According to Mrs Scott there was a natural apprehension on the part of bereaved families that, after a passage of time, somebody was going to say it was about time they started coming to terms with it.
"This is not the kind of thing anyone is told by the counsellors at Dunblane. They are not there to tell us what to do, or to to give us platitudes or answers."
And she said: "They make it plain they can't solve anything or make the pain go away -they are there to provide a shoulder to cry on."
Dunblane Support Centre co-ordinator Colin Findlay said that since the tragedy the emphasis had been on helping individuals who came in by providing support and information.
"We are not about rescuing individuals, or imposing in any sense a grieve-by date. We don't put any kind of pressure on people who come in here - that is definitely out."
Mr Findlay said that, on average, 200 people a month contacted the centre and therapeutic sessions were held every day.
That number had doubled in March, on the second anniversary of the tragedy which left 16 children and their teacher dead.
"We are not just talking about people affected by the tragedy. Many people have contact us to talk about their own losses, with memories triggered by what happened at Dunblane. This is what will happen in Omagh."
Mr Findlay said the Dunblane experience showed that it would not just be parents in Omagh who would require counselling.
"We have helped grandparents who see young lives brought to an end. They have seen so much of life and they have a guilt feeling about still being alive in a savage reversal of nature."
How will Omagh come to terms with the bombing? A victim of the Dunblane massacre tells who she learnt to cope. JOHN SMITH reports
AFTER losing her daughter in the Dunblane massacre, Karen Scott knows what the families of those killed in Omagh are going through.
Counselling helped her to cope with the loss of five-year-old Hannah - a service she is convinced will be vital for the grieving families of Omagh.
"Some people will cope in their own way but counselling should be available for those who need it," she said.
"It should not be rammed down anyone's throat - I hope it won't be like we had here, with people turning up on doorsteps expecting families would want to speak to them."
For Mrs Scott, the drop-in counselling service set up in Dunblane by Stirling Council in the aftermath of the tragedy was not an immediate option, it was one she only turned to a year after Hannah's death.
"It took me all this time to accept my daughter had died. Once I had, I wanted to go and talk to somebody about her. You could not really do this with you family and friends - they knew what she was like. The drop-in centre provided me with the opportunity to talk about her."
Mrs Scott said she saw a support worker about once a fortnight, or called in on occasion if having a bad day.
"Once I went in after I had been in Bridge of Allan and I heard ambulances going by on their way to Dunblane. It gave me such a fright - things like that are horrible.
"They are going to need a service in Omagh like the one we have here - a place to see somebody who you can speak to who will lend a sympathetic ear.
"Sometimes you can have something that is troubling you but you think: 'Am I being silly?'
"They sit down and spend time with you and say: 'This is quite a normal reaction, don't worry about it'."
According to Mrs Scott there was a natural apprehension on the part of bereaved families that, after a passage of time, somebody was going to say it was about time they started coming to terms with it.
"This is not the kind of thing anyone is told by the counsellors at Dunblane. They are not there to tell us what to do, or to to give us platitudes or answers."
And she said: "They make it plain they can't solve anything or make the pain go away -they are there to provide a shoulder to cry on."
Dunblane Support Centre co-ordinator Colin Findlay said that since the tragedy the emphasis had been on helping individuals who came in by providing support and information.
"We are not about rescuing individuals, or imposing in any sense a grieve-by date. We don't put any kind of pressure on people who come in here - that is definitely out."
Mr Findlay said that, on average, 200 people a month contacted the centre and therapeutic sessions were held every day.
That number had doubled in March, on the second anniversary of the tragedy which left 16 children and their teacher dead.
"We are not just talking about people affected by the tragedy. Many people have contact us to talk about their own losses, with memories triggered by what happened at Dunblane. This is what will happen in Omagh."
Mr Findlay said the Dunblane experience showed that it would not just be parents in Omagh who would require counselling.
"We have helped grandparents who see young lives brought to an end. They have seen so much of life and they have a guilt feeling about still being alive in a savage reversal of nature."
Further Information
Publisher: BELFAST TELEGRAPH
Ref: BT/0143
Published Date: 20-Aug-98
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